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So I was reading a website today and came across this fantastic blurb from iTunes Software License Agreement.
” 10. Export Control. You may not use or otherwise export or reexport the Apple Software except as authorized by United States law, and the lawls of the jurisdiction in which the Apple Software was obtained. In particular, but without limitation, the Apple Software may not be exported or re-exported (a) into an U.S. embargoed countries or (b) to anyone on the U.S. Treasury Department’s list of Specially Designated Nationals or the U.S. Department of Commerce Denied Person’s List o Entity list. By using the Apple Software, you represent and warrant that you are not located in any such country or on any such list. You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons. ”
Now I’m sorry but that is just plain ridiculous. But then again, this is funny as hell!
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How much wood could this friendly little critter chuck if he was given the whole day?!
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With all the crazy teenagers these days, it’s not really a wonder why there are so many social-networking websites out there at there disposal. I mean even myself, I have a Facebook Profile. But is it really necessary for these kids to have an account on 20 different websites? Didn’t think so. How many virtual friends can one have you ask? Why there is no answer, its infinite. If you can talk to them over the interweb, then of course they must be your friend!
Facebook. Everyone seems to have one of these now-a-days. I mean, just yesterday I wanted to become friends with Brad Pitt! But of course I’m not allowed to see his profile or become a friend, that’s just silly. Why make yourself a page if you wont let me become your best buddy. Little girls and little boys, is it really necessary for you to post your getting all drunk and high pictures for the world to see. Knowing most parents, they have not too created profiles and probably added you as a friend. Now I don’t know about you, but the interweb is a place to get away from the everyday horrors that is childhood and teenage life. Now add into account that parents already want to know your life, so why give them a reason to ground you and not trust you, right? Wrong. Putting up pictures of yourself getting drunk and high adds to a new level of ultimate “cool” which for me, it’s all about the “cool-points” I mean if you don’t have + 5 to your cool, then what’s the point of anything.
Facebook has went from a small website of a few members, to now millions of members in a matter of years. Sure telling everyone what your doing every 20 minutes is awesome and all, but is it really all that great? It’s just another website, another waste of time really. But besides the point of that, it really is great fun to just search for people, play the ever so boring application quizzes, and the constant notifications that flood your email box everyday. Welcome Nick! You have 423 new notifications! That’s my biggest happiness in the day, when I turn Facebook on and see tons of awesome notifications that I can spend countless hours looking at and ignoring everyone else because my notifications are first! Facebook chat just adds a whole new level of nuclear power to the equation as well. Who doesn’t like being able to talk to the person you are quietly creeping there page for info on how there life has been since you left highschool, or even after just seeing them 5 minutes prior.
Myspace. Ahh the true “gem” of the interweb.
Slut’s, Skank’s, Emo’s, and Ho’s oh my! Where is the wicked which of the pimps when you need her! I mean Myspace has gone from crap to gibberish easily. Lets see where to really start with Myspace. Well there really isn’t anywhere to start with Myspace, it’s just already a mess. You sign up and bam! Tom says hey! Although he never really does say anything else but a nice old Thank You for joining my cool site! Page after page on Myspace you get attacked by music you really don’t want to hear, nor care for. Emo’s have flooded into the virus ridden interweb and there devil hand is Myspace. I mean I love seeing the 15 year old emo kid from down the block express how life is so hard for his soul and he would rather be dead, good do it, heck! I’ll come down and help you set everything up, your a waste of space and a waste of interweb resources. Myspace pages, girls and guys put so much effort into making there pages so “great” Does this really help you get people? “Hey Sam! Did you see my Myspace page? I added some sweet music to it!” Daily responses in the head of Sam are “OMG DIE!” Sam never really cared.
Myspace really is a place to hook-up with people, and by hook-up I surely do mean, get your bone on. The amount of girls on Myspace that will do anything to get anyone is fantastic, so kids, if you lonely one night, just hop on the old Myspace and start searching for a girl, you will find one, oh yes you will! Guys love Myspace as well. It grows there “E-Pen” to the max. e-pen is a penis of the interweb! What better way to show how much you care about someone then to be like “Hey girl, add me on myspace and we can go from there” Because who goes out for coffee or anything now-a-days right? Myspace you never will make me sad.
Nexopia. Oh dear lord!
Little girls. Where to honestly start with Nexopia. It’s the one place a 13 year old girl can be herself. Girls put more effort into a Nexopia page then they do Myspace, because this is the true place to shine. Nexopia Plus just makes it better! I love seeing who creeps my page daily and I love being Spotlighted! Being Spotlighted on Nexopia is like winning a Grammy or even a Popcorn Award from MTV! Nexopia puts the true term in “Pedo-Bear” I mean where else can a 40 year old guy pick up a 13 year old girl and pretend he is the 13 year old boy from texas. Then there is the girls who complain about getting messages from creepy guys saying “Hey baby wanna fuck?! Your Hot!” Umm. . Girls, it’s your own fault, look at the pictures you put up. Once again drinking, smoking, bikini’s what has your mother taunt you, obviously nothing. But that’s her fault 🙂 Everytime I hear the word “Nexopia” I want to scream out bloody “Pedo-Bear” It honestly will never make me cry more then people talking about Nexopia like it is the coolest thing since the Pogo-Stick.
These sites are really just a “few” of the many “dangerous” websites that parents should let there kids use. They really are the best things to come to the interweb because where else can I be myself. Going out and having fun with friends? Ha! Come on! No one really does that anymore!
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Body Odor. “Malodorous sweating” Ah my favorite thing to smell when I leave my house to go places of fun. Is it really that hard to go to the local grocery store, corner store, hell, even the gas station, to buy some deodorant? I think .99 cents is enough for you to pick up the old stick of “pit-grease” and grease it up.
Your walking down the street, you see a guy walking towards you. The two of you pass, smiles are exchanged, then you almost puke! Yup, your friendly neighborhood body odor is right there to stop that awesome smile dead in its tracks. When in your mind do you wake up and decide that you would rather to the “Odour la Natural. Now I’m all for the person that wants to be all “Eco” friendly, but really, its just a little stick of a solid substance that makes you smell nice. Sure there are those “Axe” and “Tag” brands, pretty sure they are the same brands just wanting to compete with themselves, damn executives!
The bus. Oh the dreaded bus. The one place you can get away with having really bad body odor, because everyone on the bus wont say a word about it, instead either giggle to there friend, or move away from you. Does it make you feel like a better person to have your very own brand of body odor? Usually called “shit” But I mean, why spend .99 cents and buy some deodorant right. You get on the bus, all happy, errr wait it’s a bus lets not get ahead of ourselves here. You get on the bus, all angry, ah much better, and your one thought in your head is “Oh god, I hope I don’t have to sit next to someone” Which usually then ends with all the seats being taken except for the one everyone is trying to avoid. The 33 year old construction worker who thinks he can pick up any chick cause he smells like a “man” Last time I checked, a man smelt good. I mean I’m a guy myself, and I know the only way your going to get a girl, is if your going to smell good.
Woman. Now I really don’t know where to start with this one. Most Woman, lets say the majority, know that smelling good is key to anything. They spend hours upon hours each week just making themselves look and smell great. It pays off. But then, there is always that one woman, usually the 40 year old, overweight one who thinks she smells great, just with the “spritz” of some dollar store perfume. Now don’t get me wrong, I love the dollar store, tons of um great stuff there? Anyways, there is always that one woman who thinks she can get away with not having any. Guess what. You Can’t! The smell really does get bad too, because not only does it go to your pits, oh yes it travels all the curves of your body and delivers a deadly blow to the next person to walk by you.
Reality strikes again! Buy some deodorant. Heck, buy lots! It’s not that expensive, everywhere usually sells it, and everyone needs it!
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Email, everyone uses it, everyone equally hates it. But why? Is it the constant spam from unknown Nigerian men just wanting you credit statements? The fantastic ways on how to enlarge your penis in two minutes? Or the ever so neat, OMG?! YOU JUST WON A TRIP TO FRAUD LAND!
Everyday my email box grows ever bigger with the antics of crazy bored people trying to make a quick dollar or even a quickie? Sure, why not click this cool looking picture that is asking me to tell them my credit card number, that’s not a scam right? Day after day I see the “Junk Mail” grow and grow, but is it really junk, or is it just labeled as junk because they “assume” I don’t want to open it and read away. I personally love junk mail, it’s my own little form of getting to know the world. Who needs newspapers and websites when you can get it all sent right to you! Nigeria sure seems to have lots of wealthy people these days, I mean I didn’t know that I had some distant cousin named Unbar*click*nam. Apparently he wants me to wire him some money so he can then in turn give me millions from my “apparent” distant family. What have I got to lose! Give a little, get a lot right?
What about those great emails from companies claiming they can magically enlarge my penis to 24″. That surely seems like a great ploy to get me to buy some drugs. I’m sure I can go down the road and pick up some great drugs from Billy, the friendly neighborhood druggie, and get just a rise out of those drugs. Why cant Viagra just send out emails instead of these companies I have never heard of. Now I don’t know about you, but if Viagra decided to send me emails with free samples, then I’m all for this one!
What happened to the days of good old regular, plain Jane, snail mail?
The excitement of running to the mailbox, peaking inside and to your surprise lots of mail! Who doesn’t love opening up there mailbox and enjoying a nice little surprise from the mailman. The best part of a day is taking that daily stroll to the mailbox and just hoping you have free samples of dish detergent or cloth softener. Pen-pals were always the cool kids way of saying “Yeah, I have friends! They don’t live here, but I have tons of friends!” Like what kid hasn’t said that one before on the school grounds? Heck even I thought it was the greatest thing, sending a neat colorful “well-drawn” letter to my friendly pen-pal Juan in South America. When in reality, Juan is really Greg, the 47 year old man down the road who really just wants to take pictures of you while you run past his house in your shorts, screaming and yelling through the sprinkler system. But why think of that right?
Snail Mail – It’s the cool thing to do!
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Month to Month, some company in some forgein country or domestic decides its a great idea to put out some useless USB device just to make a qick buck. . but is it really that necessary to have all these USB devices with useless functions for the desk, office, entertainment area. . .
Lets start things off with these little puppies!
USB Warming Gloves. Yup you saw it right, USB gloves to warm up your little hands while you spend countless hours typing away in the frigid temperatures of the Arctic. Now I don’t know about you, but I surely hate those late hours in the nights of the Arctic and always being so cold in my hands that I need to have some gloves on. Well, you can stop looking now! For only a low low price of 22.00$ USD from USBGeek.com you too can never go another night wondering if you will end up with frost bitten fingers or not! I really think that these could have a huge market in the Arctic, I mean how many computers are really up there at this time, about five? Not including the awesome government places. One laptop, one child? How about One Computer, 2 Mittens?!
Next on the chopping block, the ever so cleaver USB Toothbrush!
Now I dont know about you people, but for me, I love waking up every morning and running to the computer to brush my teeth! I mean there is a sink and everything right there so why not just brush your teeth while you work, right? Sure you can not go to the bathroom and just do it at the desk, but I myself love to just stand at the sink, brush my teeth, maybe do a small victory dance that my teeth are clean and then get on with my day. But if your really strapped for time and you just dont have those 30 seconds to brush, why not just pack this sucker in your briefcase, purse, pocket, what-have-you’s and just take it to work with you. Sit at your cubicle and brush away from friend! And hey, if someone asks. It’s simple, you were in a rush.
Last but wow, certainly never least! The USB Vibrator…
What to honestly say about this but, WoW! Your sitting in the office at your desk, all is quiet on the work front, when you hear the lovely sound of a woman orgasming. You think, hmm that’s odd, this is a workplace is it not. Take a little peekaboo over the desk and blamo, there is your colleague all flustered. I mean what woman wouldn’t want to bring this sucker to the workplace for those boring moments or hot flashes to relieve some good old tension from the thighs right? It has many attachments for your pleasurable needs so go at it! Did I mention it’s cheap too?! 35.95$ USD from your friendly sex experts at Condom Country, so why not just go pick yourself up some! Hell, get some for the kids while your at it, at that price, its a steal!
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Figure I would kick things off with just a tad bit about little ole me.
Im Nick. Im from merry ole’ Langley, Canada. Nothing special really to do around these parts.
I’ve got a passion for computers, art, photography, baseball, and the outdoors.
This is me. Yup, that’s snow.
Im going to blog about whatever I really am feeling or just about anything really. From things I read on the interweb, to things i do during the day, or just how my mood is. So stick around, maybe you’ll learn something, or maybe you’ll get to know me better 🙂